Trading It In

The hardest days to relinquish are the ones where you need to the most. When the very thing you need to let go of is pressing on your consciousness every moment. When all you want to do is breathe, but every inhale brings new pain, and every exhale feels like giving up.

You're tired.

I'm tired.

Letting go is hard to do, when all you want is something to hang on to.

I'm realizing, though, that it's not about just letting go. I'm not supposed to take my troubles to the altar, and then just leave empty handed and alone. It's about trading in the things I don't need, for the things I do. Worry for wonder, fear for freedom, troubles for truth.
It's a give and take, and right now, I'm not doing either. I'm clinging to what I have, for fear that in losing it, I lose everything, and gain nothing. But what if, by letting go of everything, I'm gaining more? What if I'm putting down my burdens, so I can take the hand of one who loves me more?

Wouldn't that be worth it?
Worth all of it?

Wouldn't gaining all the treasures of heaven be worth every penny and every breath lost and left behind between here and there?

Wouldn't you rather trade it all in?

~Happy Hippie Herbivore