It starts when your stomach drops. You have to pull in your first breath, like something is sitting on your chest. Your heart drops, then starts pounding like you just ran a mile as fast as you can. You go cold all over from your head to your toes, like someone poured a bucket of ice water over you. Everything gets fuzzy and you can't speak because it's b-bl-blocking your concentration. The world is spinning, and you can feel every turn.
Then the panic sets in.
Your first instinct says heart attack. It's screaming through every vein, as your head throbs and your heart pounds and you struggle to maintain clarity. You're dying, you know you are, and it's only a matter of minutes now, and then it's over, all over. "Not here, not now, not me," you think, as you cling to every gasping breath, while your extremities go numb from hyperventilation.
But then you start to breathe again, once, twice, three times, coming slower and slower and easier and easier. Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, everything still there, everything still works. You're still dizzy, but you can talk now, you can think now. Then your heart starts to settle back to normal, thumpthumpthumpthump, thump-thump, thump, thump... thump...
The world starts to come clear again. You're shaking and shivering and trying to grasp what just happened. Nothing makes sense. All you know is you're going to be okay. Someday.
Right now, all you want is to sit.
To process.
To cry.
And then to move on.
Someday.
Somehow.
Soon.
~Happy Hippie Herbivore
Then the panic sets in.
Your first instinct says heart attack. It's screaming through every vein, as your head throbs and your heart pounds and you struggle to maintain clarity. You're dying, you know you are, and it's only a matter of minutes now, and then it's over, all over. "Not here, not now, not me," you think, as you cling to every gasping breath, while your extremities go numb from hyperventilation.
But then you start to breathe again, once, twice, three times, coming slower and slower and easier and easier. Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, everything still there, everything still works. You're still dizzy, but you can talk now, you can think now. Then your heart starts to settle back to normal, thumpthumpthumpthump, thump-thump, thump, thump... thump...
The world starts to come clear again. You're shaking and shivering and trying to grasp what just happened. Nothing makes sense. All you know is you're going to be okay. Someday.
Right now, all you want is to sit.
To process.
To cry.
And then to move on.
Someday.
Somehow.
Soon.
~Happy Hippie Herbivore
